Personal Responses to 50 Things to Say Before You Die
January 16th, 2009
Taken from here. The responses, however, are all my own.
1. Thanks for everything you’ve done.
Friends who travel to me when I’m in trouble. Family who believe in my dreams even when there’s no proof. Lover who is my greatest cheerleader.
2. You’ve changed my life.
One person’s changed it more than anyone: Duane. Taking me away from the craziness, giving me confidence in everything from the kitchen to the computer.
3. I need you.
Scary. Very scary. And I said this for the first time this year.
4. I’ve only got one life to live.
I was 29 before I finally understood this – and I paid the price. Many people whom I’d allowed to lean too much on me actually grew angry when I started doing things for myself. It was hard. It was also worth it.
5. Nothing can stop me.
Nothing short of death. Rejections, questions, financial difficulties, health – doesn’t matter. I will never quit again.
6. I love my life.
I do. Deeply.
7. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.
That’s what I realized when I got yet another rejection the other day. Of course I doubted; of course I wondered. But then I tried to see myself doing ANYTHING other than writing… and I couldn’t. Whether or not I ever get published, this is what I am meant to do.
8. I can change the world.
Yes.
9. I will change the world.
I am working on my little corner, you better believe it.
10. I have changed the world.
After this election, I believe it’s possible.
11. I’m rich without money.
Driven home when we were unable to get work for months – and yet were content.
12. I’m doing what I was meant to do.
Yes. And it feels good.
13. I conquered my biggest fear.
Mediocrity and bad cooking. Yes, those were my big fears – and I’ve beaten them both.
14. Glad to help you.
I said this last night. O_O
15. I have all the money I need.
I do. We’re comfortable; there isn’t enough to splurge and run out getting toys, but you know what? We don’t need toys.
16. I don’t care what people think.
And getting to that point is why Steven finally was able to say “shit.”
17. I’m honest.
Paid for that, too. Again: worth it. I couldn’t live with myself if I wasn’t.
18. I’m going for it!
Book one: finished. Book two and three: outlined and in progress. Book four and five: first couple chapters written.
19. I’m proud of myself.
I can’t believe it – but I am.
20. I’ve failed.
I have failed. That’s WHY I value victory so much now. Losing my 20’s to stupid decisions, throwing away the degree I wanted for the one I was “supposed” to have, taking the job that I was expected to take, no matter what it did to my emotions and social life… never again. Never again. I have learned to say no and hang up the phone because I spent so much time being unable.
21. I’ve learned from my failures.
See previous. Heh.
22. I have no regrets.
Yes and no. Do I wish i’d done some things differently? Yes. Am I glad they happened that way, however? Yes. Because that way, I truly understand what I was missing and what I’ve gained.
23. I don’t like my life.
A horrible place to be. A necessary place. A changing place.
24. I’ve never had more fun in my life.
Strange but true.
25. You hurt me.
This was acutally the hardest for me to say when I said it. I grew up trying SO hard never to hurt anyone, even if they were at fault, that I’d often apologize when I had done nothing wrong just to appease bruised egos. Sometime in 2006 and early 2007, I stopped doing that – and was finally willing to say, “that’s hurtful. Stop.”
26. There’s more to life than this.
60-80 hours a week working a job I would have enjoyed as a hobby – but hated as employment. Not writing because I simply had no TIME. I’m not doing that ever again.
27. I love you no matter what.
This, ironically, was part of the “you hurt me” conversation.
28. I’ve accomplished a lot.
I have. I’ve overcome some really crazy brain-trickery and some terrible health issues. I’ve gotten past troubles and trials that stun me to think about now. I can honestly say without God’s strength, it wouldn’t have been possible – and here I am.
29. You’ve been successful.
I think so. Finishing books, continuing on in the face of rejection, learning to cook – these are silly things, perhaps, but they ARE success.
30. I’m listening.
A mantra of mine for far too long, ironically.
31. I’m here for you.
Again: just last night.
32. Words can’t describe the way I feel.
*grins* Reading about other authors’ success; my wedding day; looking at the book I wrote and knowing it doesn’t suck. Yup. Speechless.
33. I’m not giving up.
Never.
34. I don’t have any worries.
I’m not there yet; I’ve come very close, but not there quite yet.
35. There is no place like home.
Oh my word, this is SO TRUE. Of course, it wasn’t until I actually HAD a place to call home.
36. It was a pleasure to talk to you.
*laughs* Does this one count if I end most converesations this way?
37. I have all the time in the world.
This one was actually discussed just the other night after my last rejection. I do not need to RUSH. I need to make good use of my time – but that’s not the same thing as panicking because time is “running out.”
38. I need a hand.
Lost track of how many times I’ve said this one.
39. You’re my best friend.
Oh, yeah. Often followed – sincerely - with “love you.”
40. I’m glad you were here.
Those same friends who are willing to travel – they got this.
41. I’m just gonna go for it.
Hello, finished books!
42. I can’t thank you enough.
Friends and lover and family.
43. I’m trusting my gut.
That would be right now. Writing something that I KNOW isn’t an easy sell.
44. I follow my own path.
And strangely enough? Once I broke through the hedges separating my path and others’, I found my path is much, much easier.
45. What a wonderful world.
Know what brings this home? Matt’s dancing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY Why? Because you see (a) beautiful, beautiful world – and (b) people, just as humans, enjoying it together. It’s incredible.
46. I take full responsibility.
Said this both when I should… and when I shouldn’t.
47. I’m not sorry.
This was hard, hard, hard to say – and again, was in the “you hurt me” convo.
48. I came, I saw, I conquered.
Veni, vidi, vici!
49. I haven’t said enough.
*laughs* Yes!!
50. I’m not afraid.
Is this true? It’s certainly more true than it ever was before. On with life.
